Emotional Freedom Technique for Health

Robert Elias Najemy:

We can use EFT to remove our various obstacles towards experiencing love, acceptance and unity with loved ones and other important persons in our lives. We might be talking here about love partners, children, parents, siblings, friends or coworkers.

Before explaining this process, I would like to point out that we will very likely need to engage in this same process towards loving and accepting ourselves if we are to succeed in loving others in this way. This is true because our greatest obstacle towards loving ourselves is our own self-doubt, which allows others’ behaviors and expressions to activate our fears about our self-worth. We then lose our love towards them.

Thus, we might want to first work on using EFT for removing most obstacles towards self-esteem. Refer to the previous chapter on that subject.

Other chapters for on working on relationships with EFT are:

EFT and Self-esteem EFT and False Relationship Prototypes EFT and Communication Obstacles

Discovering What We Need to Work on

1. Our first step is to realize when and in relationship to which behaviors or personality characteristics we lose our feelings of love, acceptance and unity with others.

a. Choose the first person you would like to be able to love more steadily and unconditionally.

b. Now, make a list of his or her behaviors, which annoy you or cause you to distance yourself, become defensive or close your heart.

Possible Annoying Behaviors

Below is a brief list of some common reasons we might lose our feelings of love and unity with someone. In such situations we might feel hurt, bitterness, resentment, disappointment, fear, jealousy, injustice, anger, rage, competitiveness, antagonistic, etc. We might close off into ourselves or become defensive, offensive or aggressive.) 1. When others do not agree with us. 2. When they do not understand us. 3. When they obstruct us from satisfying our needs. (A need could be psychological, such as the need for acceptance, respect or self-esteem) 4. When they do not respect us. 5. When they think they are superior. 6. When they try to control or suppress us. 7. When they criticize us. 8. When they tell lies or gossip about us. 9. When they harm us or someone close to us. 10. When they have evil intentions or ulterior motives. 11. When they are negative, complaining, whining, criticizing etc. 12. When they think they know everything. 13. When they give us advice we have not asked for. 14. When they play the role of the victim, the “poor me,” and want attention. 15. When they do not take care of themselves or carry their share of the load. 16. When they make mistakes. 17. When they do not keep their promises or appointments. 18. When they are weak and dependent. 19. When they act in an egotistical and selfish ways, disregarding our or others’ needs 20. When they use us or others. 21. When they are cold and insensitive. 22. When they are not responsible. 23. When they are lazy. 24. When they ignore our needs. 25. When they reject us. Other reasons____________________________

Note: Loving others does not mean that we are obliged to allow them to do whatever they want irregardless of whether it is unjust or unethical. We can feel unlimited love for them while we also assertively confront them concerning such behaviors. This is actually for their own good, as evolving souls. This is also important for us and our society as a whole. This should be done steadfastly but also with as much love and understanding as possible

Having made a list of the other’s behaviors that cause you to close up now chose the one want to first work on.

Employing EFT on this Obstacle

The obstacle towards loving can be felt as a negative emotion or perceived as a limiting belief. In the second case, if possible, it is better that we focus on the emotion created by this belief creates.

We start by measuring the SUD for that particular issue, perform the set up and proceed.

Reminder

As we employ EFT, our emotions, aspects or even experiences with we are working might change. In that case we may work on whatever comes up, always remembering, however, to come back to our original subject to check it out and bring it down if necessary.

Working on the Main Emotion or Belief

I. Emotions which we have when the other behaves in a certain way.

A. We rub on the sore spot on one side (or tap the side of the hand) repeating phrase “A” three times.

B. Then we repeat phrase “B” three times while rubbing the on the sore spot on the other side (or tapping on the side of the other hand).

C. Then we repeat the “C” reminder phrase while tapping on the 12 points.

A.1. Even though I feel (emotion) _______ when / because _____ (name of person) _____________ (behavior which bothers us) ___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself. or A.2. Even though until now I have felt (emotion) _______ when / because _____ (name of person) _____________ (behavior which bothers us) ___________, I now understand his /her inner doubts and fears (problems, conditioning) which cause him/her to behave in this way.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

C. Reminder Phrase = (The Emotion) ____ when/because _____(name of person and act)

These emotions will likely change and we will need to work with each emotion as it surfaces. Note that we usually feel anger and hate because we first feel fear, hurt, pain, guilt, shame, self-rejection or injustice. So we will likely need to address these in order to get free from our anger.

Working on Other Aspects

While working on opening up to love we might need to work various aspects such as: II. Emotions we have about the fact that we have these negative emotions towards the other and are not as loving as we would like to be.

A.1. Even though I feel ______ (guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt) because I have not yet been able to love _____________ even when / though (behavior)___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.

A.2. Even though until now I have felt ___ (guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt) because I have not yet been able to love _____________ even when / though (behavior)___________, I now understand myself, my feelings and reactions.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

C. Reminder Phrase = (The Emotion) ______ because I do not love _____ unconditionally

In other words, we want to love ourselves even though we are not as loving as we would like to be. My experience is that accepting ourselves “as we are” is a prerequisite for moving forward and improving ourselves.

III. Resistance towards Opening to Love

Consider the following possible obstacles towards remaining open and loving:

1. We feel vulnerable and are afraid of being hurt if we are open and loving and prefer to keep an emotional distance. 2. We do not want to give the other the idea that he or she can do whatever he or she likes with us. 3. We would like them first to ask for forgiveness or at least realize their mistakes. 4. We fear we will lose control over them by letting them be too relaxed with us. 5. We want to place the blame for our dissatisfaction with ourselves or our lives on someone else who is “responsible”. 6. We falsely believe that love requires that we must let this person do whatever he or she wants – regardless of ethics or justice – and that this would be totally unacceptable. 7. We have identified with the role of the victim and need to feel hurt and abused. 8. We are in the role of the interrogator and need to find others’ faults. 9. We are afraid of intimacy because we fear: a. Being abandoned b. Being suppressed c. Being hurt 10. We are afraid of expressing love, because we fear that there will not be an adequate response from others and we will feel rejected. 11. We cannot believe that others could possibly love us. 12. We have been seriously hurt by this person and cannot overcome this bitterness. Other ___________________________

If we cannot find the specific resistance towards opening our heart, we might benefit by looking into our childhood years for similar experiences or behaviors, which hurt us then.

If, at that point, we do not find what our resistance is, we can then work generally with “this resistance” or “this apparent resistance”.

Some variation of the following phrases will be appropriate.

A.1 Even though I feel (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______ I deeply and profoundly love myself.

A.2 Even though until now I have felt (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______, I now realize that it is in my benefit to let go of this.

A.3 Even though until now I have felt (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______, I now understand his/her fears and resulting behaviors.

A.4 Even though until now I have felt (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______, I now understand that I can love and still create my boundaries.

A.5 Even though until now I have felt (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______, I now realize that loving the other means doing so even when he/she is wrong.

A.6 Even though until now I have felt (emotion of resistance) ____________ about the idea of loving (name of person) ______ when / because (his or her behavior) ______, I now want to go beyond this and on with my life -without these feelings.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

C. Reminder Phrase = (the emotion of resistance) towards loving (person) _______even when / though (behavior). IV. Emotions which we had in the past when we first experienced the event with the same person or others.

A.1. Even though I felt /feel (emotion) ____________ because of what (name of person) _____ did, I deeply and profoundly love myself.

A.2. Even though until now I have felt (emotion) ____________ because of what (name of person) _____ did, I now prefer to live in the present and be free from this.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

C. Reminder Phrase = (The Emotion) ______ about ____ (other person’s name and what he/she did)

V. Physical problems associated with emotions involved.

A.1. Even though I have this (physical phenomenon) ____________ in my _____ (part of body) ___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.

A.2. Even though until now I have had this (physical phenomenon) ____________ in my (part of body) ___________, I am now becoming totally free from it.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (physical phenomenon) ______ in my (part of body)_____.

C. Reminder Phrase = (Physical phenomenon) _______ in my _____ (part of body)

VI. Childhood experiences similar to this event which make us more susceptible

A.1. Even though I feel (emotion) ____________ concerning what (name of person) _____ did ________(in childhood), I deeply and profoundly love myself.

A.2. Even though until now I have felt (emotion) ____________ concerning what(name of person) _____ did ________(in childhood), I now realize that he/she was a victim of his/her childhood experiences (programming).

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free from this (emotion) ______.

D. Reminder Phrase = (the emotion) about (other person’s name and what he/she did)

In working on opening up to love, consider reading the following chapters: EFT and Self-Esteem EFT and False Relationship Prototypes EFT and Communication Obstacles EFT and Healing the Inner Child

ilana weiler :

I believe we need to explore new methods and techniques in EFT. I am always enthusiastic and curious about it, like most of us, I believe. I read an article on your website lately by Hazel Rogers, who wrote about The 7 Whys method for getting to core issues. Thank you Hazel. I tried it out. This is what I found.

Ann wanted to work on being stuck financially. We tried the 7 Whys.

Q Why are you stuck?

Because I’m stuck financially.

Q Why are you stuck financially

Because whatever I do, I don’t seem to bring in more income.

Q Why is that?

I don’t know. Maybe because everything is in the hands of the creator.

That sounded like a dead end, so I said,

Q If everything is in His hands, why should you try at all?

Well I have to do my part.

Q Regarding your part, why do you think your efforts don’t make a change in your financial situation?

Because there is disorder in my business, it’s a mess … Because of my mother’s chronic orderliness.

Q Why is that connected to you?

I detested her orderliness.

At this point, I knew we had arrived at the hard core. I encouraged Ann to feel this negativity in her body and I asked how this affected her. She said she felt a tightness in her chest which, on a scale of 0 to 10 was at a 10.

We tapped; Even though I feel a tightness in my chest because I detested my mother’s need to keep everything in order…

Eyebrow: This tightness

Side of Eye: My mother’s need for order

Under Eye: Everything had to be tidy

Under Nose: She kept arranging things all the time

Chin: Everything had to be spotless

Collarbone: It put me under pressure

Under Arm: She was cleaning all the time

Top of Head: Spotless

The feeling of tightness turned into a feeling of an “angry’ stomach” and Ann said she felt like vomiting. We tapped; Even though I feel like vomiting from her need to have everything spotless, I accept myself and my reaction

Eyebrow: I feel like vomiting

Side of Eye: It makes me vomit

Under Eye: All this cleaning all the time

Under Nose: Everything had to spotless

Chin: I want to vomit

Collarbone: She was cleaning all the time. No fingerprints

Under Arm: It was so clean I feel like vomiting … I could not stand it

Top of Head: It was all spotless and I feel like throwing up.

Ann took a deep breath and I asked what came up now. She said, “It wasn’t humanly possible not to have fingerprints everywhere, not to have any sign of life.” We checked for her body sensations. Everything felt better. Her description sounded like OCD, but I decided not to mention the medical definition, not wanting to add more stress.

I asked how she felt about that as a child and she said, “I hated it. I deliberately created a mess.” I asked if she could remember a phrase her mother often repeated. Ann replied, “You always make a mess. Wherever you are there’s a mess. You always leave a mess behind you.”

We tapped for that. I took the role of the mother and repeated her sentences, while Ann kept tapping a few more rounds. We added a few more sentences; Even though I was told I always leave a mess … Even though I felt I had to be careful all the time … Even though everything had to be sterile…

At some point, Ann took a deep cleansing breath. She looked more relaxed. “How do you feel about the disorderly state of your business and your life now,” I asked. “I feel sad,” she replied. We tapped; Even though I feel sad about it now…

Eyebrow: I feel sad

Side of Eye: It makes me feel sad

Under Eye: I am sad about it for the first time in my life

Under Nose: It is sad

Chin: I am sad

We completed a round on sadness and the 9 gamut. I asked Ann what she thought and she said, “I never wanted to be like her. I do make order, but it’s not like hers. There is order to my chaos.” I asked if she felt she could change that and make different decisions now. Ann replied that she thought she could be more organized and be more in control of her papers and bills.

Here is an example of a case that cannot be checked for results immediately. Only time will tell how this session will influence Ann’s life. But I believe that the immeasurable Emotional Freedom that is gained here is a breakthrough and the sadness in this case is a good sign. Sometimes the freedom is experienced by having the freedom to feel what we really feel about things. Once we dig below the surface, we are free to experience our real, authentic self.

I suggested ending the session by tapping for Even though I feel sadness, I choose to feel what I feel without it causing me pain. I choose to feel and accept all my feelings and still feel secure.

We decided to let her live with these feelings before meeting again to continue our work, before changing her decision to make changes in her disorder. I bless all of us to be open and secure enough to allow ourselves to feel the full spectrum of feelings without fear and with great compassion to ourselves.

Love to all of you.

Ilana Weiler

Israel.

StewartRobertson :

Emotional Freedom Technique can be new to your ears or you have heard it already but you are not really quite sure what it means. Today you will have an overview about Emotional Freedom Technique or also called as EFT so that you will have an idea on its importance and use.

There is a saying that as we grow old, chances are problems will also grow more too and this would either help us learn and be strong but we can’t pass those problems that easily; most of the time, we are discouraged and hopeless when it comes to these problems that we thought we might not solve but then after some series of techniques a person might be able to move on and take everything easily.

Depression is a mood that a person might feel anytime if there is something happened that affects him so much; there is no escape to this kind of emotion and because of this Gary Craig studied and he discovered the use of EFT.

This technique was formulated from the theory which stated that any imbalance that was found on the energy system of the body have intense effects on a person’s individual psychology. With this technique, you will need to do tapping on some parts of the body that will give remedy after a few minutes. This only means that the technique is a great way of treatment for the body and this applies not only for depression but also for other physical and emotional issues like anxiety, trauma, weight loss, addiction, pain, allergies, blood pressure, children’s and women’s issues, even relationship issues, phobias, serious diseases, sexual performance and respiratory problems – all of these will be healed by the technique.

Along with the discovery of this psychological technique of healing, the proponents have found out that 85% of the body’s illness is caused by unresolved emotional issues; the body is being affected by the negative emotions that a person is always thinking and with the fact that he or she is getting problematic about it, the body gets to adjust with what he or she is thinking forming a balance between the state of mind and the body’s condition.

The Emotional Freedom Technique can be done face to face with a specialist or over the phone, they will help you out on applying the specific techniques to ease whatever your body feels and after just a few minutes you’ll get the healing that you expected. This technique applies to all ages from children to adult and with the right application you’ll find the healing to be effective in just a few minutes.

It is just an easy to apply technique that you can also do by yourself; you just have to get a copy of the manual that can be downloaded for free in the internet and that manual will guide you throughout the process. At first, you may take a few longer minutes or hours for application since it is just new to you but after some repetitions you will be able to master it and that is the key in order for you to apply it quickly as soon as you need a healing. This can be done over and over again for a person to memorize everything and all the procedures in the manual should be done exactly as it was described.